Russian Kids Talk

Russian Kids Talk

Helping son (7 years old) to get dressed for skating rink. Husband by and shames the son:

– Oh, little boy! His mother is dressing him.

The answer came right away:

– Oh-oh-oh, and you sleep with mom every day, like a little boy!

***

Shampoo adon TV:

– Your shampoo solves only one problem, and my – as many as five!

Alina (9 years) responds to the TV:

– Well, then, you have more problems than we do.

***

Dad:

– Andrew, now draw an eight. It looks like matryoshka.

– No, daddy, it looks like a DNA!

Dad’s expression is indescribable.

***

Standing with my young son at a traffic light, next to us is a girl in patent leather stilettos and a short dress. My son looked at her admiringly, even bent over and touched her shoes, and said:

– What a woman! What shoes!

***

The family was waiting for an addition. Lisa (5 years old) asked her mother:

– And why is your belly is bigger and bigger?

– I ate a watermelon, swallowed a seed, and now in my stomach a new watermelon is growing! –Responded mother.

Lisa squinted and said:

– Maybe you are pregnant, honey?

***

Lera (3 years 5 months) in the evening:

– And when I grow up and graduate from kindergarten, where would I go?

– To school, like Zhenya.

– And then?

– To the university.

– And then?

– To the job.

– And then?

– Uh … retirement.

– Well? .. And when am I going to live?

***

Daughter is 5 years old. She comes home from kindergarten upset. The first reading lesson. The child didn’t succeed.

– What a fool I am! –My child is almost crying, standing in front of a mirror.

Then suddenly she calms down, thinking … and quietly says:

– But so beautiful …

***

My son was 6 years old. He stared at manicure of his teacher.

– Olga Aleksandrovna, you have such long nails …

– Yes. You like it?

– I do. Probably, it is easy climbing trees.

***

We went to the country side. A cat there had little kittens. My Alenka (4 years old), of course, decided to take patronage over them, nursed them and dragged them everywhere with her.

In the evening she ran into the house and shouted from the doorway:

– Daddy, one of the kittens smeared his face in milk! Will he be dirty now?

My husband:

– No, his mom will lick him clean.

Alenka turns to me:

– Mom, really?!

***

Five-year daughter –to her mother who was trying on a new fur coat:

– Mommy! You look so beautiful in this coat!

– Really?… –mom was happy.

– It is true. You look like a shepherd in it!

***

Kate was 2 years old –that glorious period when everything was “mine” – my pot, my dad, my toys, etc. She was playing with dad in the backyard. Dad teased her:

– My tree!

– Nooo, it’s my tree!

– My bench!

– Nooo, it’s my bench!

– My hydroelectric power station! – And waits for his daughter to react to a difficult and unfamiliar word.

Kate thought for a while, and then casuallyanswered:

– Well, I don’t need it!

***

Anya, 4 years, upon seeing newly born kittens:

– Oh, so cute, they look like mice; only by their faces you can tell they are people!

***

My son was getting dressed for a walk, putting on boots, and to speed up the process I decided to help:

– Give me one foot.

My son lifted his leg but I thought it was the wrong one. I said:

– Give me the other!

He gives me another. I realize that the first time he was right, so I say:

– Give me the other!

My son surprisingly looked around, threw up his hands and said:

– I don’t have another one!

***

My son (5 years old) bathed, walked out of the shower and said: “Mom, I washed!” Then, more quietly, looking in the mirror: “First – I washed, then – I shaved, then – I got married” –he sighed – “Next my life will be over…”

***

– Thea, what are you making from play dough, a flower?

– No.

She continues molding a thin vertical stick.

– And what is it? A tree?

– No.

– What is it?

– Bent armature.

***

My son was in second grade. He didn’t study Roman numerals yet, but his homework was to read about Peter I. My son was doing his homework, and my wife and I were sitting next to him, reading, and quietly listening to what he was reading…

We heard the following:

– … Russian Emperor Peter-stick.

***

One year ago…

My son sends me texts messages, 3 in a row:

First: Mom, you’re the best mom in the world

Second: Mom, I love you

Third: I got F for my exam.

***

I asked Vityusha:

– Do you have any animals at home?

He proudly says:

– Yes! We have a cat and frozen mackerel!

***

I asked my daughter (4.5 years old):

– What games do you play in the kindergarten?

She says:

– We play “Let’s get married!”

– And who came up with this game?

– Artem.

– Strange… Usually boys play with cars and toy soldiers, and Artem invented “Let’s get married”?

Daughter says very seriously:

– Well, yes … Because a smart boy knows what girls need.

***

I read on one website, that very week it is necessary to go around the house and throw out 27 unnecessary things. So I decided to follow this method and restore some order in kids’ rooms using my children. I said:

– Starting today we will play the game of “27”. I’ll stand in the middle of the room with a plastic bag and you need to bring and put in this bag 27 unnecessary things, papers, broken toys and other stuff. I’ll count loudly. Whoever will bring fewer things, that person will have to take out the garbage. We start today.

It’s useless to argue with me. The kids went to their room to prepare for the “game”. I heard how my older daughter, leaving, muttered:

– Seems like mother again read some nonsense on the Internet…

.

фото – фотобанк Лори

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